DragonBall Z Abridged Movie: The World's Strongest/Transcript
DISCLAIMER KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release. (cut over to the icy mountains with a gigantic pillar of light being shown, which causes snow to tumble down as it reveals that the blast came from Piccolo) PICCOLO: (shivering due to being out in the cold) G-good. Progress on my...ice castle is underway. I'll have to...install central heating. Body is n-ninety percent water... And this CLOAK DOES NOTHING!! OOLONG: Well, maybe you should have have packed more. (cut over to Oolong and Gohan somewhere else in the icy mountains) GOHAN: Y-you never said we were going to the Tsurumai-Tsuburi Mountains... Literally the coldest place on Earth... You just told me, "Hey, Gohan! I stole--" OOLONG: "Found." GOHAN: "--found the Dragon Radar. Wanna go make a wish?" OOLONG: How about a little less whining and a little more climbing? They just found the sixth ball! (shows six DragonBalls beeping on the radar) GOHAN: It kind of seems wrong that we're planning on stealing a wish... Which reminds me. What are you planning to wish for? OOLONG: (envisions himself leading a Communist-like pig group) Justice. GOHAN: What? OOLONG: Panties. Gonna wish for panties. GOHAN: Oh, Oolong, you're incorrigible! OOLONG: Yeah, yeah, just get the lead out before they find the seventh-- (the Dragon Radar alerts him that the seventh ball has been collected) Oh, oink me in the alps. (shows all seven DragonBalls on the snow and glowing) KOCHIN: Rise, Eternal Dragon! Did I do it right? I hope I did it right. (there is a burst of energy and all seven DrgonBalls fall off of the cliff) Aw, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh shit! Is that bad? Can they break?! (there's another burst of energy and Shenron appears) SHENRON: *sighs* Okay, what do you assholes want this ti--''' (sees Kochin) '''Oh. OH! Hmm... I am the Eternal Dragon. State your wish and I shall grant it. KOCHIN: I have scoured the planet for you for the last fifty years. With you lies my only hope... Eternal Dragon, I beseech you, with your bountiful, mystic power... Could you please melt the ice off my front door? SHENRON: E-excuse me? KOCHIN: Look, I left to get groceries fifty years ago. Bit of a trek to civilization. Came back, the entire lair was iced over. Went back, got some salt. Pretty evidential real quick that that wasn't going to work. Tried fire, melted it. That just made more ice--try and figure that out. Then I tried, uh... I'm sorry, is this a little unorthodox? SHENRON: Just a little, yes. KOCHIN: I'm sorry, I'm not really used to the whole 'magical dragon' thing. I'm an engineer by trade. SHENRON: Hey, look, it's fine. But, how 'bout--just throwing it out there--I give YOU the power to melt the ice! KOCHIN: But that's what I have YOU for... SHENRON: Yes, I know, but I'm trying to--''' '''KOCHIN: Don't you go pawning this off on me! SHENRON: I'm not, but if it happens AGAIN, then... You know, fine. Whatever. (eyes glow red and then proceeds to melt the ice) KOCHIN: Oh, wow! That was fast! SHENRON: Yeah, well, I just put a massive hole in your ozone layer. What, took you fifty years to find me? Good luck figuring out how long it takes THAT to fix! Shenron, out. (Shenron disappears and the seven DragonBalls fly up in the sky and scatters) OOLONG: No! My Schwein-Staffel! KOCHIN: Finally! Now, to reunite with my master, and... Oh, crap. Did I leave my keys at Slump's? (shows a silhouetted figure of Goku preparing to use the Spirit Bomb by lifting both hands in the sky as it shows a brain in the background as well as the text that reads 'The World's Strongest') (cut to Gohan and Oolong investigating the newly-uncovered lab) OOLONG: All right, what the hell is this and why did my wish get wasted on it? GOHAN: It looks like an...evil lair! OOLONG: Oh, no... Nope, uh-uh, no way! I know how this goes! (leaps off Gohan and tries to run off) You can't make me-- (gets stopped in his tracks by a blue warrior) Damn it all! GOHAN: Don't worry, Oolong! I'll save you-- (three more blue warriors appear and proceed to ambush Gohan) OOLONG: Get 'em, Gohan! (Gohan continues to be beaten up until Piccolo grabs one of the blue warrior's hands) PICCOLO: (is blue-skinned from head to toe) Hey, Gohan. C-c-c-cold enough for ya? GOHAN: Mr....Piccolo? PICCOLO: Did we miss some Saibamen? BIOMAN: We are Biomen. PICCOLO: I feel like we missed some Saibamen. GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo... PICCOLO: J-just watch out for the explodey ones. Don't wanna pull a-- YAMCHA: Hey, guys! I was in the middle of training, and I saw what went down-- (a Bioman grabs him and starts glowing) WHY?! (Bioman explodes off-screen) PICCOLO: That. Don't wanna pull a that. (shows Yamcha on the ground groaning in pain...and defeat) So...wanna help me build my ice castl-- (begins to scream as he's blasted from underground) GOHAN: Mr.... (Piccolo continues screaming) Piccolo... (passes out as he and Oolong fall through the ice) (later regains consciousness inside a cave) Mr. Piccolo? Oolong! I think Mr. Piccolo's in trouble! OOLONG: Oh, no. I'm fine, Gohan. Thanks for asking. GOHAN: Yeah, well, sorry, but he was screaming pretty loud, and-- OOLONG: When's the last time you saw a fight where someone didn't scream? Now. We are going to go home, and you are not going to tell your mother about this little outing. GOHAN: But I-- OOLONG: DO NOT TELL YOUR MOTHER ABOUT THIS! GOHAN: Okay! Fine. Why do I feel like I'm going to hear that for the rest of my life? OOLONG: Because you are. (cut to Goku's house) CHI-CHI: You're seriously not going to talk to him? GOKU: Why? He came back safe and sound. (inside, Goku is doing push-ups with his thumb and Chi-Chi is cooking) CHI-CHI: He was gone for three days, and refuses to tell us where he went or what he did. GOKU: Oh, come on, Chi-Chi. I lived in the woods for eight years all by myself. CHI-CHI: That's why you're not his role model. GOKU: 'Course not. Piccolo is. (shift to inside Gohan's room, who's doing his homework) CHI-CHI: And THAT is a conversation we desperately need to have. GOHAN: (sighs and sits back on his chair and remembers seeing Piccolo back at the Tsurumai-Tsuburi Mountains along with an explosion with Yamcha screaming) I sure hope Mr. Piccolo's doing alright. (shifts to a wierd dream with Gohan walking on a planet with Piccolo on the peak of a mountain) PICCOLO: Gohan! Gohan! I'm trying to reach you telepathically! (shows Gohan flying with two animals and a book with Chi-Chi creeping in the background) God, Gohan, they've captured me! (shows a brief shot of Piccolo and then shifts back to Gohan walking on a red planet behind Piccolo, who's also walking) Gohan! They're torturing me! They're forcing things into my brain, Gohan! Gohan! My veins! (shows Gohan alone in a sunset area) '''GOHAN!!!' '''CHI-CHI:' Gohan! PICCOLO: MY VEINS!!!!!!! CHI-CHI: Gohan! (back to reality where Gohan wakes up) Gohan, what is going on with you? GOHAN: I... I was dreaming. CHI-CHI: Well, have you finished your homework? GOHAN: Oh, Mom! I'm never finished. CHI-CHI: That is the correct answer. (begins to leave the room but stops) Gohan, you're not on drugs, right? GOHAN: It was just the one apple, Mom. (cut over at Kame House) OOLONG: This is some old bullshit! Just because I stole the Dragon Radar means I have to do all the prep work? Where does he even grow this stuff, anyway? He doesn't have a basement... (shrieks as Bulma appears beside him) BULMA: Best not to ask too many questions. Also, have you checked the oven? OOLONG: Oh, hell.. (opens the oven, which emits black smoke causing him to cough repeatedly before opening his eyes, which is now red) Great, now my entire evening is gonna be spent trying to find something to watch on Netflix! MASTER ROSHI: (from upstairs) Those better not be my brownies, pig! (coughs and someone knocks on the front door) Oh, geez. Turtle, can you get that? I can not find my feet... (Turtle goes outside to see who it is) TURTLE: What up? You got the money? (shows the face of a Bioman) BIOMAN: We want the Roshi! TURTLE: And WE want the money. BIOMAN: Bring us the Roshi, or be destroyed! TURTLE: How about you get the hell off our island? BIOMAN: There are six of Biomen and one of Turtle! TURTLE: I am nine hundred and ninety-nine years old. I don't give a f**k! (Master Roshi comes out the door coughing) MASTER ROSHI: Are you the buyer? 'Cause there's gonna be a bit of a delay. (coughs a few more times) Turns out pigs can't cook brownies. BIOMAN: You have been forcefully in-vited to the laboratory of Dr. Wheelo! MASTER ROSHI: I only need one doctor, and that's "Feelgood". Also, my GP to check my prostate every few years; it's important at my age. BULMA: (walks out the front door) Roshi, what the heck is going on-- (sees the Biomen) Wait, are those Saibamen? BIOMAN: We are Biomen. And if you do not comply, we will make you! MASTER ROSHI: Ooooh, it is a bad time for this... BIOMAN: Prepare for combat! (the Biomen attack and are easily defeated by Master Roshi, with one of them landing next to Turtle) MASTER ROSHI: I do not hold back when I'm toasted. KOCHIN: (starts clapping) Excellent. Exactly to be expected from the world's strongest fighter. MASTER ROSHI: Eh, I'm not one to brag. *sniffs* KOCHIN: Dr. Wheelo will be humbled to have you as his honored guest. Whether you like it or not. MASTER ROSHI: (referring to the Biomen he has defeated) Are the bodies not a clear indicator of how this is gonna go down? KOCHIN: Well, you see, strength is only relative when a little leverage is applied. (points to the front porch to reveal two Saiba--I mean Biomen holding Bulma by both arms, who starts panicking) Now, comply, lest I have my Saiba-- BIOMAN: We are BIOMEN! KOCHIN: Yes, whatever! Nobody cares! My creations rip her limb from limb. MASTER ROSHI: Damn it. And those are some fine-ass limbs, too. All right, I'll go. Turtle, you're in charge! TURTLE: All right, but if the buyer shows up, I'm taking ten percent. MASTER ROSHI: Triflin'-ass turtle. (cut to Oolong at Goku's house speaking to Goku who bathing in a barrel) OOLONG: Old man Roshi might have been kidnapped. GOKU: Oh, don't sweat it. Roshi can handle that. OOLONG: Yeah... They might have also been strong enough to take Piccolo, too. Uh, they said they were looking for the world's strongest fighter. GOKU: But I'm... Why didn't they...? (cut to him fully dressed on the Flying Nimbus speaking to Chi-Chi and Gohan) There's been a terrible mistake, I gotta fix this! (takes off) (cut to inside a laboratory with Master Roshi being shown on a monitor) KOCHIN: There he is... Your new body! DR. WHEELO: Why is he old? KOCHIN: He's the world's strongest man! DR. WHEELO: And the world's oldest. (monitor shows Bulma sitting on a chair alongside Master Roshi) Again, Kochin, why not just give me the woman? KOCHIN: I told you, you can't have a WOMAN'S body! They're not nearly strong enough! DR. WHEELO: Sexism aside... I'm really not that picky. KOCHIN: Also, she doesn't have a penis. DR. WHEELO: ...So you want to give me the old man? KOCHIN: Yes. DR. WHEELO: With the old man's penis? KOCHIN: Listen, you just need a demonstration. DR. WHEELO: Oh, please no. (shift over to Bulma, who screams as she gets pulled down into the darkness) MASTER ROSHI: Oh, come on! This ain't your first kidnappin'! (the lights come on) KOCHIN: Feast your eyes on our Bio-Warriors! DR. WHEELO: Kochin... (monitor changes to show the Bio-Warriors as innocent creatures) What did you do to my creations?! Zap-Zap, Blub-Blub, Burr?! KOCHIN: I made a few alterations this morning. Introducing Electrocutioner! Bouncy Butcher! And Freezer! FREEZER: Bah! KOCHIN: Fighting someone on the trademark for that last name, though. DR. WHEELO: They're terrifying! KOCHIN: Terrifyingly effective! DR. WHEELO: They were supposed to be cute and cuddly and aid the elderly! KOCHIN: Now they're cruel and vicious and fight the elderly! Speaking of which, commence the demonstration! MASTER ROSHI: Oh man, and I'm comin' down... (begins to fight the Bio-Warriors) BULMA: Beat their asses! DR. WHEELO: Woah, where'd she come from? (shows Bulma with shackles on both her hands and feet) And why is she chained up? MASTER ROSHI: Ka... Me.. Ha... Me... HAAA! (Master Roshi fires the blast at Bouncy Butcher, who absorbs the blast and deflects it back at him. Master Roshi nearly dodges his own blast and gets punched by Freezer. Electrocutioner proceeds to shock Master Roshi with electric whips, who falls down to the ground, sizzling in defeat) KOCHIN: Fiddlesticks. I could have sworn he was the strongest fighter in the world. BULMA: Oh, right. The three hundred year-old man. DR. WHEELO: Seriously, why is she chained up? BULMA: Roshi's not even in the top five anymore. As in, I've got at least five friends, all stronger than he is! KOCHIN: Is that so? DR. WHEELO: Oh, do not indulge him. BULMA: Okay, who else keeps talking? (Dr. Wheelo reveals himself, who is a brain embedded in a wall) DR. WHEELO: Hello. BULMA: Um... Hi? DR. WHEELO: My name is Dr. Wheelo. Good to meet you. BULMA: Wait, Dr. Jonathan Wheelo? The famous biologist and cancer researcher? Your breakthroughs changed the entire landscape of the field! DR. WHEELO: Oh, thank you. Thank you. Can I have your body? BULMA: What? No! DR. WHEELO: Oh, I'm so sorry, not sexually. I-I mean your actual, physical body. To put my brain in. BULMA: Still NO! DR. WHEELO: Oh, come on, it's been fifty years! I suddenly got sick one day--lung cancer, ironically--and that one decides to put me in stasis. (Kochin frowns and glares at Dr. Wheelo) Next thing I know, he's gone to get groceries for fifty years. Which is just my father all over again. BULMA: Okay, well, I'm sorry and all, but there's no way I'd agree to that. Not that you'd fit, anyway. DR. WHEELO: Whhyyyy? KOCHIN: Oh, your gray matter seems to have absorbed a little bit of the embalming fluid that you're stored in! DR. WHEELO: What?! How big am I?! BULMA: I'd say...a golden retriever. DR. WHEELO: But a golden retriever's brain is small! BULMA: No, like, the size of a golden retriever. DR. WHEELO: Kochin, what the hell, man?! KOCHIN: Oh, calm down, sir... DR. WHEELO: I can't fit in a body like THIS! KOCHIN: Don't worry about it. Sometimes brain surgery is a little more 'art' than science. DR. WHEELO: You're thinking of baking! KOCHIN: I might be thinking of baking... BULMA: Well, Pinky. You picked the wrong guy, anyway. You want Son Goku. DR. WHEELO: Can I fit in him? BULMA: To be fair, there's probably a vacancy. But you have to get him here first. And good luck kidnapping-- (a warning alarm goes off) DR. WHEELO: What is that? (Goku is shown on the screen) GOKU: Hello. My name is Son Goku. Is anyone home? KOCHIN: Oh, and the stars align. GOKU: Someone made a mistake! If you're looking for the world's strongest fighter, I'm here! KOCHIN: Yes, yes! Son Goku! Please, if you would, join us! GOKU: A'ight! (jumps off the Flying Nimbus and lands near the front entrance) Sure hope it's warmer inside... (shifts to him running inside shivering his tits off) It's actually colder! How is it colder?! (enters a room filled with a bunch of giant, floating balls) Oh, cool! He's got a ball pit! (spikes emerges from all the floating balls) Oh, no, he's got a ball pit.. (jumps to avoid getting hit by an incoming ball) DR. WHEELO: Kochin? KOCHIN: Yes? DR. WHEELO: WHAT?! KOCHIN: Oh, the Death Spheres! Quite ingenious, no? DR. WHEELO: No! Why do we have them?! KOCHIN: Well, if the Red Ribbon Army hadn't suddenly up and disappeared, they'd have made us a mint. (Goku destroys all of the Death Spheres with multiple blasts) Annd there goes fifty billion Zeni. DR. WHEELO: HOW MUCH?! GOKU: That was easily the second-worst ball pit I've ever been in. (Bouncy Butcher comes out of nowhere and punches him in the face, who rebounds and tries to kick him, but gets enveloped in Bouncy Butcher's squishy body) Oh, no. Oh, God. Ew, ew, ew, it's moist. Why is it moist? (gets away) Okay, get it together. Just gotta go in there...and do it. Just like with Chi-Chi. (Bouncy Butcher starts inflating) Just like with Chi Chi... (charges at Bouncy Butcher again, pulling his torso with him as he goes higher) Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EWWWW!! (uses Kaio-ken to rip a hole through Bouncy Butcher's torso and flies up to the next floor as Bouncy Butcher is shown deflating like a balloon) KOCHIN: Good, good! He's already dispatched of one of the Bio-Warriors! DR. WHEELO: Blub-Blub... He was made for hugs... KOCHIN: And combat! DR. WHEELO: No... GOKU: I swear, I'ma deck the heck out of the next guy I see! FREEZER: (appears in front of Goku) Bah! (Goku decks him in the schnoz) AH! (muffled) OW! F**k! Shit! GOKU: Oh! Oh, gosh, I'm sorry! FREEZER: What the f**k, man?! GOKU: D-do you need some ice? FREEZER: Oh, you think you're funny?! Zapps, get in here. I-I need a sec. ELECTROCUTIONER: I'm the Electrocutioner now! FREEZER: Then electrocutionate him! I don't give a f**k! GOKU: Who's your buddy? (screams as he gets zapped by Electrocutioner and gets blasted backwards, hitting the stairs as he falls down) DR. WHEELO: ...Wait, can they all talk? KOCHIN: Of course they can! They're completely sentient. (cut to Bouncy Butcher face-down on the ground, with a hole in his torso) BOUNCY BUTCHER: I need a hug... KOCHIN: With all their own wants and needs, and a crippling fear of death! BOUNCY BUTCHER: So dark... And cold... (begins sobbing uncontrollably, forming a pool of tears as Bulma watches in stunned shock) DR. WHEELO: Blub-Blub, no... KOCHIN: Now, Freezer! Preserve the goods! (Freezer fires an icy blast at Goku which begins to envelop him) GOKU: Wait, Freezer? Why does that sound familiar...? (the ice is shown reaching his...family 'DragonBalls') OH, GOD, IT'S LIKE THE WORST PART OF GETTING INTO A POOL TIMES A THOUSAND!!!!!!!! KOCHIN: Lay the finishing blow! (a caped figure appears) GOKU: Thank goodness! Piccolo's here-- (the caped figure is Gohan) Oh. Hey, son. GOHAN: Hold tight, Dad! We've got you! GOKU: We? (Krillin appears and lands beside Gohan) KRILLIN: And the Krill-dog's in the houuuuu-- (gets electrocuted) AAAAAHHHH!! GOHAN: (also gets electrocuted) AAAAAHHHH!! (both he and Krillin get completely frozen solid by Freezer) GOKU: (lets out a deep sigh, eyes narrowed) Kaio-ken. (breaks free of the ice with Kaio-ken and punches Freezer hard in the face and then kicks Electrocutioner before breaking his back and finally lands on the ground while holding Electrocutioner and takes a deep breath) KOCHIN: Man, your new body is gonna be wicked! Completely destroyed the Bio-Warriors. DR. WHEELO: I just thought of something. Kochin...why didn't you give me one of THEIR bodies? KOCHIN: Uh, hmm... I guess you're right. See, this is why you're the brains! (snickers) ...What, too cheesy? DR. WHEELO: More insensitive. KOCHIN: Oh, grow some thicker skin. (Wheelo groans in frustration) BULMA: I thought it was clever. (cut to Goku, Gohan, and Krillin running through a dark hall) GOKU: Hurry, guys! We're almost there! GOHAN: So cold... Still wet! KRILLIN: Frostbite... So much frostbite! GOKU: Don't worry, Krillin! The cold never killed anyone! KRILLIN: Hypothermia would beg to differ! (back in the main lab, where everything's dark) DR. WHEELO: Why did you turn out the lights? KOCHIN: To give us an air of menace! DR. WHEELO: Why do we need menace? KOCHIN: Shh, shh! Here he comes! (Goku, Gohan, and Krillin arrive) GOKU: Wow... This place sure is menacing. BULMA: Goku! GOKU: Bulma! Don't worry, Bulma! I'll get you out of-- (gets shocked by a force field around Bulma and gets thrown backwards) GOHAN: Daddy! GOKU: Ugh.. I'm gonna have nerve damage after today! (Goku, Gohan, and Krillin are shown behind the monitor) Hey, why didn't you warn me? BULMA: I didn't know it would happen! I haven't tried to break out! GOKU: Well, why not? BULMA: I'm chained here! GOKU: Well, that's sexy. DR. WHEELO: You mean, sexist? KOCHIN: Well, it's a little sexy. GOHAN: *gasps* Oh, my goodness! Is that a brain? ...Why is it the size of a Greyhound? DR. WHEELO: The BUS?! KOCHIN: This is the magnificent Dr. Wheelo! And we'd like to welcome you to our evil lair! DR. WHEELO: This is neither a lair, nor is it evil! This is a laboratory! For science! KOCHIN: Yes...evil science! DR. WHEELO: No! Neutral science, at worst! GOKU: I don't care what kind of science you're cooking up! I'm here for two things: to rescue my friends, and correct a mistake! I am Son Goku! And I am the world's strongest! KOCHIN: Okay, we believe you. GOKU: Good. Then, if you don't mind, I'ma just grab my friends, and be on my wa-- (begins screaming as he's blasted a mysterious red beam) GOHAN: Pride cometh before the fall, eh Dad? KRILLIN: Come on, Gohan! It's two against-- (Piccolo appears in front of him) Huh! Three! Three against one! Ha-ha! GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo! DR. WHEELO: Wait, how long have we had him? KOCHIN: About a week? DR. WHEELO: Just give me his body! KOCHIN: Can't. No penis. DR. WHEELO: Why do you KNOW that?! (Kochin smiles) GOKU: Yo, I broke out of the thingy. Oh, hey, Piccolo! Wow, your eyes are red... You been hanging around Master Roshi? GOHAN: (runs up to Piccolo) Mr. Piccolo! (Piccolo punches him in the face) GOKU: Don't you dare hit my son! ...Unless you're training right now. In which case, Gohan, get back up. GOHAN: Dad, I think Dr. Wheelo's controlling him! DR. WHEELO: But I am a brain in a jar! GOKU: So you admit it! DR. WHEELO: Kochin, please explain... KOCHIN: KILL THEM ALL! DR. WHEELO: WHY?! (Piccolo comes at them, causing Krillin to immediately screams and dive out of the way. Piccolo screams for a bit and then proceeds to engage Goku in battle.) GOHAN: Stop this! You are men of science! How could you commit such atrocities?! KOCHIN: Excuse you, mustard gas would like a word... GOHAN: Uh, excuse YOU, solar energy has something to say! KOCHIN: Excuse YOU, anthrax has an opinion on that! GOHAN:'Excuse YOU, ''penicillin would like to chime in! '''KOCHIN: ...The atom bomb. (Gohan screams and lets out a shockwave that destroys part of the laoratory) DR. WHEELO: Kochin, stop antagonizing him! KOCHIN: You're right. He's incredibly strong! In fact... DR. WHEELO: Kochin, he is a child! KOCHIN: With a penis! DR. WHEELO: Kochin, please! KOCHIN: You're right... I should CHECK! (fires a blast from his cane at Gohan, who deflects by screaming out another shockwave that cretes a crater around him, which causes him to slip and fall on his back) Insolent boy... He's in for such a caning... (reaches for his cane, but Krillin kicks it away) KRILLIN: Not so tough without your cane, huh old man? (Kochin smiles and holds out his hand) Um... (the hand transforms into a gatling gun) Ah! (Kochin opens fire...with the bullets harmlessly bouncing off Krillin) Whatever happened to Launch? (Master Roshi appears and takes out Kochin) MASTER ROSHI: And that's for ruinin' my Sunday. (the mind controlling device on Piccolo's head shatters, turning him back to normal) PICCOLO: Huh? GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo! PICCOLO: DODGE! (punches Gohan in the face) GOHAN: (thinking; sighs) Back to normal. DR. WHEELO: Fifty years I was alone... And when I'm finally saved from that loneliness, all I find is horror. In this form, I am powerless; doomed to witness these atrocities. I need a body...I WILL have a body! (breaks free from the wall with Bulma screaming in fear as his brain is revealed to be inside a mechanical body) HOW LONG HAVE I HAD THIS?! KOCHIN: Wait, you seriously never noticed the exo-body I left for you? Did you think I'd literally just leave you in a jar? What kind of monster do you think I am? (Dr. Wheelo stomps the floor, sending Kochin falling down into the abyss) Fair enoooooooough! GOKU: See? Now you got a body. DR. WHEELO: This is not a body! This can't taste, or smell, or touch! I am a brain trapped in an exoskeleton! PICCOLO: Well, when you think about it, aren't we all just-- (Dr. Wheelo slaps him) DR. WHEELO: NO! MASTER ROSHI: A Kame and a Hame and a Send-him-home-to-mommy! GOKU, MASTER ROSHI, and KRILLIN: KA... ME... HA... ME... HA! (all three of them fire a combined Kamehameha wave at Dr. Wheelo, which fails to scathe him) MASTER ROSHI: Krillin, you better not have held back! (gets hit by Dr. Wheelo) KRILLIN: Oh, come on! We both know it was Goku! (also gets hit by Dr. Wheelo) WAH! GOKU: Yeah, it might have been me. BULMA: (head pops out from the table beside Krillin) Can you take me home? GOKU: All right, everyone. Stand back. I'ma Kaio-kening. (Gohan attempts to attack with the Power Pole and gets whacked by Dr. Wheelo's tail) That means you too, Gohan. GOHAN: (as he hits the ground off-screen) Ow... GOKU: Kaio-ken times three! (transforms and starts charging toward Dr. Wheelo) DR. WHEELO: Kaio-what? (Goku attacks and removes his right arm) Aah! GOKU: Ka... Me... Ha... Me.. HA! (fires a Kaio-Ken powered Kamehameha wave at Dr. Wheelo, who counters by firing a mouth blast, resulting in a beam struggle with Dr. Wheelo having an advantage) (thinking) Kaio-ken...times three... (out loud) AND A HALF! (Kamehameha wave complete engulfs Dr. Wheelo) DR. WHEELO: AA-- (cut to an outside shot of the laboratory, with the roof blowing off) --AAAAAH! (the laboratory is shown to be completely destroyed) GOKU: (starts catching his breath) And point...proven! KRILLIN: Wow, that was...quicker than expected. GOKU: Naw, he's alive up there. Plotting like the evil scientist he is. (cut to Dr. Wheelo in outer space) DR. WHEELO: Look at this planet. So beautiful. I'll never see it with my own eyes again... (begins sobbing in complete sadness) (cut back to the destroyed lab) GOKU: Someone needs to kill him. And by someone...I mean the Earth! (raises both arms up) GOHAN: Wait, this doesn't seem right... KRILLIN: Yeah! Kill him, Goku! GOHAN: I'll be right back. (flies off) KRILLIN: Yeah! Kill him, Gohan! (back in outer space, Dr. Wheelo continues crying when Gohan appears) GOHAN: Hey, Dr. Wheelo, I... Wait, are you crying? DR. WHEELO: I physically can't, but I'm just so sad... GOHAN: You're...not really evil at all, are you? DR. WHEELO: No... I just want a body. Fifty years alone and trapped... (continues crying) GOHAN: Can you wait one more? KRILLIN: It's KRILLER TI-- (Dr. Wheelo slaps him) DR. WHEELO: I mean, I guess... GOKU: (from down on Earth) All right! Ready to kill him! GOHAN: Dad, no, we worked it out! He's not evil! GOKU: Oh. (is seen holding the Spirit Bomb) Well, I can't just turn this off. Maybe if I just set it down... (an exploding sound is heard and then shows Goku lying among the falling rubble) Good work, team... (one year later, everyone has gathered around at Capsule Corp. and Shenron is summoned from the seven DragonBalls) SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon. State your... (sees the Z-Fighters and sighs) Okay, who died? GOHAN: Actually, nobody. In fact, we want you to create a whole new body. SHENRON: ...I'm listening. GOHAN: We want you to make a human body, and put that brain inside of it. SHENRON: Huh. Well, at least it's better than that last wish. Who summons the Eternal Dragon to melt some ice? DR. WHEELO: Hmm... SHENRON: Your wish is granted. (eyes glows red and gives Dr. Wheelo a human body) DR. WHEELO: Thank you, everyone. (shows everyone (minus Goku) giving a horrified look as it shows the crown of is head being humongous in order to fit his already large brain, which is making loud hartbeat sounds) Now I can live a normal life again. ("Kochin and the Brain", a parody of the Pinky & The Brain theme song by Team Four Star, plays as the ending credits roll) ♪They're Kochin and the Brain♪ ♪Yes, Kochin and the Brain♪ ♪Each is a genius♪ ♪But one is insane♪ ♪Their lair is girt by ice♪ ♪Their ambitions, not nice♪ ♪They're Kochin♪ ♪They're Kochin and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪ ♪Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪ ♪Brain♪ ♪They're making plans to steal♪ ♪The world's strongest guy♪ ♪By the ending of this spiel♪ ♪One of them may just die♪ ♪They're Kochin and the Brain♪ ♪Yes, Kochin and the Brain♪ ♪Their science seems arcane♪ ♪And their practice inhumane♪ ♪Attain new body lies♪ ♪In Son Goku's demise♪ ♪They're Kochin♪ ♪They're Kochin and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪ ♪Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪ ♪Narf♪ (the peak of the iceberg reveals Pinky and The Brain, with The Brain inside the same exoskeleton Dr. Wheelo was in frm the movie) OUTRO MASAKOX: Hey, guys! MasakoX here! Two million subscribers! Two million! Thank you so much for getting us to this marvelous milestone! Without you, we would be nothing like we are now. Thank you. Here's to you, everyone. You truly are the world's strongest. So what did you think of the movie? If you liked it, be sure to like it and subscribe to keep up with the latest content from DBZA, as well as catching up on any movies and episodes you might have missed! Speaking of episodes, we also have some additional content for you over on TFS Gaming! Goku's gonna show you what happens when Chi-Chi's isn't around, as he shows you the "hot" new sensation from the makers of HuniePop, HunieCam Studio, right here on the left! Where did he get that game from? Hmm... We recently dropped our first-ever album from our newest show, Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged! If you wish to sample some of the tracks from season one's Midgar Mix, be sure to click here on the right, where you can get download links from iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, Amazon, and Loudr! Or just kick back and listen to the tunes! We've got all our bases covered! Not only that, but we also have a new, special-edition Star Wars X Dragon Ball shirt with the adorable 'droid, BB-8! Or, as we like to call him, DB-8! You can find this, as well as our other shirts at sharkrobot.com/team-four-star! Go do that! Oh, but before you do that, be sure to check out my channel, MasakoX Stream, where you can see what I get up to! Including reading bad DBZ fanfiction, as well as other franchises and series! Trust me, it's an absolute hoot. Anyway, guys, thanks for tuning in and sticking with us for almost eight years! Until next time, guys! Catch you later! (ominous music starts playing as Mr. Popo's face gets revealed) MR. POPO: Two million subscribers, bitches! (starts laughing madly as the screen fades away...only for it to show his face again accompanied with horrifying music) Category:DBZA Transcripts